Thothmuffin
Don't get any crumbs on the scale of judgement.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Prime / not prime
Yay, I'm 23 today! The only cool thing about this age is that it's prime.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
This post brought to you by pseudoephedrin
I am sick. I am on Advil Cold & Sinus. Stupid meth dealers have forced me to have to buy my beloved AC&S from the pharmacist's counter during normal people hours.
Is it SOO-do-EFF-eh-drin or SOO-do-ef-FED-rin?
Can anyone recommend a vendor or replacement part for those little rubber half cylinder feet that are stuck on the bottom of your laptop? I am missing one. Ernest is listing. It is very, very pathetic in my world right now. Proof of which: I fell asleep reading my own book last night.
*snot*
Is it SOO-do-EFF-eh-drin or SOO-do-ef-FED-rin?
Can anyone recommend a vendor or replacement part for those little rubber half cylinder feet that are stuck on the bottom of your laptop? I am missing one. Ernest is listing. It is very, very pathetic in my world right now. Proof of which: I fell asleep reading my own book last night.
*snot*
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Miltonian Battle Christmas Cookies
I made Christmas cookies with my mom yesterday. We were making these raspberry-filled, chocolate-drizzled cookies that require the use of cookie cutters and some pretty fiddly dough. The fun began when one of the little angels' arms broke off and I repaired it with a long, badass sword. Another angel had a little problem with me putting way too much celestial raspberry ichor in its core. Before you know it, I had created a Miltonian Battle of Epic Proportions.
I even looked up the verse to accompany the tableau:
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I even looked up the verse to accompany the tableau:
but the sword
Of MICHAEL from the Armorie of God
Was giv'n him temperd so, that neither keen
Nor solid might resist that edge: it met
The sword of SATAN with steep force to smite
Descending, and in half cut sheere, nor staid,
But with swift wheele reverse, deep entring shar'd
All his right side; then SATAN first knew pain,
And writh'd him to and fro convolv'd; so sore
The griding sword with discontinuous wound
Pass'd through him, but th' Ethereal substance clos'd
Not long divisible, and from the gash
A stream of Nectarous humor issuing flow'd
Sanguin, such as Celestial Spirits may bleed,
And all his Armour staind ere while so bright.
Paradise Lost, VI. 320-334
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Poetry: The Joys of Winter
A Haiku: Overconfidence is my Weakness
I engage night ice
with premeditated poise--
Oh! It's a puddle!
What is the zipcode for Hell?
An argus of PO Box eyes
Gleams, baleful, amused,
As I struggle with weighty dimensions.
I engage night ice
with premeditated poise--
Oh! It's a puddle!
What is the zipcode for Hell?
An argus of PO Box eyes
Gleams, baleful, amused,
As I struggle with weighty dimensions.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Monkeys and Fawns
Saw King Kong. People, this is a love story between a woman and a gorilla. Still, it's oddly touching for all that. The German boat captain is the hottest supporting character since Faramir. I will have to go back and watch U-571 again.
Also, I was horrified by all the large insects in the movie, but at least I managed to console myself with the thought that such things were undoubtedly on the same level as dinosaurs and 25-foot primates. This worked for about 8 hours, until my friend in Central America sent me a picture of an honest-to-grossness 10" centipede. As my brother said, "that thing wants smashing." Gah. Remind me NEVER to go to anywhere with anything like jungle. Ever.
Also saw Narnia, which was really really good and not *nearly* as long as Kong, which could have used some trimming. I thought Tumnus (sp?) the fawn was the best part. Besides Tilda Swinton. Who rocks my world. And has possibly replaced Rebecca de Mornay as people who need to play Narcissa Malfoy becase omg Tilda + Jason = !!! *just blew her own mind* Although it's possible that she would be taller than him, which I really don't see Lucius going for. Wait, how did I end up talking about HP?
Anyway, Narnia was really good. I can't tell if it was the visual format or just an extra 12 years of Judeo-Christian study, but the quasi-Christian themes were way more apparent to me watching the movie now. This didn't necessarily detract from the crazy pagany goodness of it all, but it was definitely there.
The only other thing that sort of jarred me in the movie but not in the book was the sight of all of them all grown up right before they go back. (Which by the way, the grown-up actors were all very pritty, with the possible exception of grown-up!Peter, who had a muskrat grafted to his face. Grown-up Susan looked like the person who *should* have played Arwen in LotR, and grown-up!Edmund proves that melancholy can be hot.) But anyway, that sudden juxtaposition on screen made me think: how creepy would that be, to be an adult and have to do your childhood all over? I hope they lost their memories, because gah, no tks pls.
Also, I was horrified by all the large insects in the movie, but at least I managed to console myself with the thought that such things were undoubtedly on the same level as dinosaurs and 25-foot primates. This worked for about 8 hours, until my friend in Central America sent me a picture of an honest-to-grossness 10" centipede. As my brother said, "that thing wants smashing." Gah. Remind me NEVER to go to anywhere with anything like jungle. Ever.
Also saw Narnia, which was really really good and not *nearly* as long as Kong, which could have used some trimming. I thought Tumnus (sp?) the fawn was the best part. Besides Tilda Swinton. Who rocks my world. And has possibly replaced Rebecca de Mornay as people who need to play Narcissa Malfoy becase omg Tilda + Jason = !!! *just blew her own mind* Although it's possible that she would be taller than him, which I really don't see Lucius going for. Wait, how did I end up talking about HP?
Anyway, Narnia was really good. I can't tell if it was the visual format or just an extra 12 years of Judeo-Christian study, but the quasi-Christian themes were way more apparent to me watching the movie now. This didn't necessarily detract from the crazy pagany goodness of it all, but it was definitely there.
The only other thing that sort of jarred me in the movie but not in the book was the sight of all of them all grown up right before they go back. (Which by the way, the grown-up actors were all very pritty, with the possible exception of grown-up!Peter, who had a muskrat grafted to his face. Grown-up Susan looked like the person who *should* have played Arwen in LotR, and grown-up!Edmund proves that melancholy can be hot.) But anyway, that sudden juxtaposition on screen made me think: how creepy would that be, to be an adult and have to do your childhood all over? I hope they lost their memories, because gah, no tks pls.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Your tastebuds will dance and sing!
I have discovered the most orgasmalicious combination ever: raspberries and plain rice pudding! I bought frozen raspberries, because, December. Liminal stopped me from just putting them in the microwave to thaw them, which was a brilliant move on her part. My impatience for pudding knew no bounds, so I then hit upon a clever method of fast-thawing, which is to place raspberries in plastic bag and immerse in very hot tap water. Some issues with displacement aside, this worked very nicely.
I was going to have this again last night, but after I thawed the raspberries I decided sleep was the better part of valor (see last night's entry.) I put the raspberries in the fridge--are they still good for eating?
Why is food so difficult?
Also, I just realized that I sometimes colloquially use the word "dethaw" which I suspect is a really silly and nonsensical conflation of "defrost" and "thaw" in my mind. I really want it to be like "flammable" and "inflammable" but sadly, I am just wrong. Anyone else have this confusion?
Davesque, before you mock me for this, I have one word for you: autoautonomy.
I was going to have this again last night, but after I thawed the raspberries I decided sleep was the better part of valor (see last night's entry.) I put the raspberries in the fridge--are they still good for eating?
Why is food so difficult?
Also, I just realized that I sometimes colloquially use the word "dethaw" which I suspect is a really silly and nonsensical conflation of "defrost" and "thaw" in my mind. I really want it to be like "flammable" and "inflammable" but sadly, I am just wrong. Anyone else have this confusion?
Davesque, before you mock me for this, I have one word for you: autoautonomy.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Neologism of the Night
I just made up a word that makes me giggle:
somniferocity: (n): The velocity and ruthlessness with which one attains sleep
Example:
Rice pudding consumed at 22:00 will have deleterious effects on my somniferocity.
somniferocity: (n): The velocity and ruthlessness with which one attains sleep
Example:
Rice pudding consumed at 22:00 will have deleterious effects on my somniferocity.
Monday, December 12, 2005
The Gender GAP: Gender Accessibility Points
Friends, sociologists, gender theorists, students of psychology:
I think it would be interesting to assign Gender Accessibility Points to everyday objects. This would be a numerical, qualitative, and highly subjective rating system for objects to show how accessible they are for each gender. (I'll work with a dualistic system for the sake of illustrating the point.)
How do you define accessibility?
Objects with high positive accessibility ratings within a gender would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) It is common to see someone of that gender using this object.
2) There is no social stigma/confusion/surprise attached to someone of this gender using the object.
3) Members of this gender are encouraged to use the object.
4) It is unusual/counternormative (is that a word?) to see someone of the opposite gender using this object.
Objects with a neutral (0) or moderately gendered accesibility rating (2 > x > -2) would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) A person of either gender could easily use this object within expected social norms.
2) Neither gender is discouraged from using this object.
3) The use and purpose of this object is common knowledge to both genders.
Objects with negative accessibility ratings would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) Members of this gender would have little use for this object.
2) There is social stigma attached to the use of this object by this gender.
3) Members of this gender are discouraged or never encouraged to use this object.
4) It is uncommon to see someone of this gender using this object.
An example table for women might be as follows.
Example Gender Accessibility Point Table for Common Objects, Women:
Description of Object / GAP
Menstrual Accessories / +10
Makeup / +7
Knitting Needles / +5
Long hair / +3
Personal Computer / 0
Video Games / -2
Power Tools / -3
Porn / -4
Hunting Gear / -7
Cologne / -9
Urinal / -10
Is this useful at all? It was sort of interesting to think about. This came about because a person at my work joked about me cutting lumber, then retracted the thought immediately, assuming I would know nothing about the process or tools required.
I think it would be interesting to assign Gender Accessibility Points to everyday objects. This would be a numerical, qualitative, and highly subjective rating system for objects to show how accessible they are for each gender. (I'll work with a dualistic system for the sake of illustrating the point.)
How do you define accessibility?
Objects with high positive accessibility ratings within a gender would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) It is common to see someone of that gender using this object.
2) There is no social stigma/confusion/surprise attached to someone of this gender using the object.
3) Members of this gender are encouraged to use the object.
4) It is unusual/counternormative (is that a word?) to see someone of the opposite gender using this object.
Objects with a neutral (0) or moderately gendered accesibility rating (2 > x > -2) would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) A person of either gender could easily use this object within expected social norms.
2) Neither gender is discouraged from using this object.
3) The use and purpose of this object is common knowledge to both genders.
Objects with negative accessibility ratings would fulfill some or all of the following criteria:
1) Members of this gender would have little use for this object.
2) There is social stigma attached to the use of this object by this gender.
3) Members of this gender are discouraged or never encouraged to use this object.
4) It is uncommon to see someone of this gender using this object.
An example table for women might be as follows.
Example Gender Accessibility Point Table for Common Objects, Women:
Description of Object / GAP
Menstrual Accessories / +10
Makeup / +7
Knitting Needles / +5
Long hair / +3
Personal Computer / 0
Video Games / -2
Power Tools / -3
Porn / -4
Hunting Gear / -7
Cologne / -9
Urinal / -10
Is this useful at all? It was sort of interesting to think about. This came about because a person at my work joked about me cutting lumber, then retracted the thought immediately, assuming I would know nothing about the process or tools required.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Party!
Happy birthday, Liminal! Hope it's fabulous!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Poetry Backlog
I found some poems in my notebook that I wrote during November but didn't post, because, novel. Here you go.
Bathrooms
I like to spend time
with bathrooms that I know.
The walls are close together
and all the signs
are polite but firm
with extra exclamations.
Nostalgia (1)
There will never be people like this again
my grandfather
whose onionskin letters cling
to the tips of my fingers
as his fading frame once embraced me.
Nostalgia (2)
My youth is a shabby thing
All mold and rot and dust.
It flakes away beneath my touch
It has been given up to time.
Bathrooms
I like to spend time
with bathrooms that I know.
The walls are close together
and all the signs
are polite but firm
with extra exclamations.
Nostalgia (1)
There will never be people like this again
my grandfather
whose onionskin letters cling
to the tips of my fingers
as his fading frame once embraced me.
Nostalgia (2)
My youth is a shabby thing
All mold and rot and dust.
It flakes away beneath my touch
It has been given up to time.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Dear Readers, A Proposal
In the spirit of Dumas, should I serialize "The Protector" for all of you on a Friends-Only LJ as I edit it?
Pros:
1. I am encouraged to keep working on it.
2. You get to read it sooner.
3. It is sekrit-sekrit.
4. Those of you who find it difficult to approach an entire manuscript of mine can read it in modest and pretty chunks.
5. I get feedback regularly. (Right, guys?)
6. No one else's Microsoft Word explodes because of my document.
Cons:
1. I would have to get an LJ account for it. Some of the rest of you would have to follow suit. I don't really like LJ, but...it's so sekrit!
2. Lots of HTML formatting work for me.
3. Not enough instant gratification for some of you. Of course, you'd have to wait probably about 3 months until I had the entire manuscript done, so.
Vote below!
Pros:
1. I am encouraged to keep working on it.
2. You get to read it sooner.
3. It is sekrit-sekrit.
4. Those of you who find it difficult to approach an entire manuscript of mine can read it in modest and pretty chunks.
5. I get feedback regularly. (Right, guys?)
6. No one else's Microsoft Word explodes because of my document.
Cons:
1. I would have to get an LJ account for it. Some of the rest of you would have to follow suit. I don't really like LJ, but...it's so sekrit!
2. Lots of HTML formatting work for me.
3. Not enough instant gratification for some of you. Of course, you'd have to wait probably about 3 months until I had the entire manuscript done, so.
Vote below!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Big Fat NaNo
So I had to stop using Word for my Nanovel because Ernest (my computer) overheated and got all WRRRRRRRR! once the document got longer than 60 pages. I switched to WordPad for editing the whole document because it had less going on, and that worked out for a little while, until my tonight when my novel CRASHED WORDPAD.
It went like this:
TM: *typey typey*
WordPad: ....
WordPad: ?????
WordPad: x_x
Ernest: wrrrrWrrrrrWRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!111one
TM: *shutdown*
I only lost about a paragraph, but seriously, isn't there any program I can edit a 520KB text document in without it trying to BLOW UP ERNEST? >_<
Ihateyoubook.
It went like this:
TM: *typey typey*
WordPad: ....
WordPad: ?????
WordPad: x_x
Ernest: wrrrrWrrrrrWRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!111one
TM: *shutdown*
I only lost about a paragraph, but seriously, isn't there any program I can edit a 520KB text document in without it trying to BLOW UP ERNEST? >_<
Ihateyoubook.
